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We are going to be in the hospital until at least Friday. Thursday night is the earliest they can get a sleep study. Around eleven last night I finally had to give up and go to a sleep space. I cried the whole way there. I felt like I was just abandoning my kid up here all by himself. He was desating they kept trying to get the damn full face mask on him and he was screaming. I had been up for almost 24 hours. I was running in zombie mode. His nurse called me at 6 this morning to say had an ok night but he was up and very grumpy. Around one he started to desat with the full face mask on CPAP so they put him on BiPAP, which I think he will be going home on. CPAP is just constant pressure to stint open his airway and BiPAP actually gives him extra little puffs of air when he takes a breath. They where also monitoring his Co2 last night which was pretty high, so there going to address that today. I’m nervous for rounds. I get mixed messages from these nurses. One makes everything seem like its alright and then the next one you talk to will make everything seem gloomy. I stayed alone in this hospital with Cameron for three months, yet just these few days feel so much worse. He’s not just my little baby that I’m getting to know. Now He’s my best friend with this huge personality and I just want to be able to protect him from all of this. In his mind he probably just sees it as his mommy feeding him to the lions. I can feel the stress just coursing through my whole entire body.

5 notes

  1. jjpasinski said: Reading your post, you are one strong momma. I hope your little man gets better and the hospital figure everything out quickly.
  2. mylittleandi posted this
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